Choose My Own Adventure

Page 1

2012-01-01T00:14:00.000-05:00

Your name is Becca Shim. Living in relatively progressive Seattle filled your 2011 with personal activism. Sometimes in dissent and sometimes in support, you rallied around an array of causes that spoke of urgency and possibility. Time magazine named The Protester the person of the year and you wanted to be a part of that. However, your habitual avoidance of pepper spray and public drumming had you occupying places and things other than Wall St and acting on your own fight-the-power convictions with varying consequences.

Not wanting to be bound by geography, time or reality, you decided to start off big and:

occupy the 80s (go to page 2)
occupy humanity (go to page 3)
occupy Hogwarts (go to page 4)

*Please blame the obvious lack of photos as compared to years past on the fact that none of my photographer friends moved with me from NYC. Am I expected to carry a camera and photo-document my own existence? I protest!

Page 11

2011-12-31T01:39:00.008-05:00

Sometimes taking a good look at yourself can be just what it is necessary to turn things around.

And sometimes it can get woefully out-of-hand. You decided to take a different approach and:

occupy outside (go to page 6)
occupy inside (go to page 12)

Page 12

2011-12-31T01:00:00.022-05:00

After multiple attempts to occupy anything world-changing, you decided that you are better suited to occupy hot tubs, park benches and window seats.

While your activities in 2011 didn't topple tyrants or take back democracy, they helped to strengthen your conviction to always occupy yourself in the unapologetic pursuit of what moves you.

So as the clock ticked it's last tock in 2011, you took a moment to give thanks for the people and things that occupy your thoughts and enrich your life.

Really. Thanks.

Page 10

2011-12-31T01:00:00.021-05:00

After occupying almost everything else, you thought that it can't be hard to find answers in a city known as "the big easy." The answer's in the name, really. So you headed south and took in the sights and sounds...

...and beignets (but thankfully only a couple).

It was a welcome break...

...and all the voodoo, folklore and po boys left you thinking:

you need more voodoo in your life (go to page 4)
that's enough voodoo for now (go to page 12)

Page 9

2011-12-31T01:00:00.020-05:00

Not finding the inspiration your were looking for in the outside world, you decided to create some of your own to add to your bedroom gallery.

You explored body art, but that turned out to be regrettable since love can be fickle.

You tried your hand with textiles, but ultimately had to shut down after crossing some child labor lines.

The ceiling art only aggravated the roommates and proved to be just a massive waste of perfectly good lentils.

The kitchen art, while yummy, got you in trouble for playing with food (and playing with knives). So you decided to hang up your apron.

You thought your artistic inspiration might be found in:

occupying the photo booth (go to page 11)
occupying a winter wonderland (go to page 7)

Page 7

2011-12-31T00:59:00.016-05:00

The holidays are a magical time of year. A time for gathering with loved ones, exchanging gifts and riding on glittery fake zoo animals.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the commercialization of "the most wonderful time of the year."

...and by "easy," I mean awesome. Instead of overcoming this societal mis-focus on the material aspect of the holidays, you embrace it fully and add to your list of 2012 resolutions to be a little more grounded...next year.

This minor shortcoming, led you to:

take a good look at yourself (go to page 11)
throw in the towel (go to page 12)

Page 8

2011-12-31T00:59:00.013-05:00

You wanted to see what it would be like to be the big guy on campus. So you found ways to occupy the land of giants. Downsizing the world around you, you decided, would be the way to keep things simple. Small is good.

You worked on your uku-cello skills.

You rocked out with mini people.

You ate mini food.

Not surprisingly, none of these pursuits seemed to satisfy your appetite for action. You realized that you needed to reflect and:

occupy the arts (go to page 9)
occupy your bedroom (go to page 12)

Page 6

2011-12-31T00:58:00.012-05:00

The weeds of tyranny had crept into your life and it was time to uproot the oppressors. You spent much of the year digging, building and sowing the seeds of truth (and leafy greens).

After reaping the oven-fired pizzas of your labor and harvesting the fruits (mostly vegetables) of the season, you felt the need to celebrate.

You decided to:

find the reason for the season (go to page 7)
lose yourself in the South (go to page 10)
add a little magic to your life (go to page 4)

Page 5

2011-12-31T00:58:00.011-05:00

You took to the water with a protest in your sails.

You tacked and jibed for justice.

You paddled for peace.

You rowed for righteousness.

It felt good until you realized that all of that action on the tiny uterine lake would probably not get you anywhere. Even saving babies had short-lived satisfaction.

You refocused your efforts a little more externally and went on to:

occupy the North Pole (go to page 7)
occupy Bourbon St (go to page 10)

Page 4

2011-12-31T00:57:00.008-05:00

Sometimes a little magic is the solution.

Sometimes it's the problem.

Not willing to take bets on inconclusive data, you chose to:

get your feet wet first (go to page 5)
be the bigger person (go to page 8)

Page 3

2011-12-31T00:56:00.006-05:00

Human beings have a long history of messing themselves up. So you thought you'd do a little research into what would happen if we let our animal cohabitants take over for a bit.

(yes, those are poodles driving that benz)

Turns out it's too late for them too.

Even though Rise of the Planet of the Apes had you routing for the primates, you decided it would probably be best to go another route. You thought it might be better to:

occupy art (go to page 9)
occupy the backyard (go to page 6)

Page 2

2011-12-31T00:45:00.007-05:00

Feeling disillusioned by the current state of affairs, you decided to take a step back to a "simpler time" to get a chance to see how everything got so wacky. While you remembered the 80s as a time of deliciously synthesized music, jelly slippers and Saturday morning cartoons, turns out that's because you were a kid. The rest of the world remembers it a little differently. The decade that began with the eruption of Mount St. Helens and ended with the slaughter in Tiananmen Square and US activity in Panama, had little to offer in the way of suggesting productive societal change.

So while Boys Don't Cry is still probably one of the best albums of all time, you decided to use a move out of the US government's 1980's playbook and take a laissez-faire approach to 80s nostalgia. You opted to:

occupy Lake Union (go to page 5)
occupy Bourbon St (go to page 10)
occupy Christmas (go to page 7)

2010...

2011-01-11T23:11:00.002-05:00

In the spirit of missed deadlines, I'm posting this late. In the spirit of laziness, I'm posting this differently.

2010 brought with it some things and didn't bring with it others. See if you can tell which is which.

In 2010, maybe I...

grew lots and lots of plants
learned to make soap
spent over 36 total hours making ravioli
cooked and consumed over 15 seasonal gourds
spent a lot of time evangelizing about compost
learned how to raise adult chickens
took a class on beekeeping
dropped my phone in the toilet
learned how to milk a goat
ate a gallon of pickles
got only 1 haircut
learned to sail
spent my Fridays working on wooden boats
became addicted to the Dog Whisperer
had my life changed by Beatles Rockband
missed New York
walked in a rain forest
moved for the 18th time in 12 years
washed my clothes only in homemade detergent
joined a food co-op
rode my motorcycle in the rain (a lot)
built things
had regrets

Click here to reveal the answers

2010: the reveal

2011-01-11T01:11:00.001-05:00

TRUE

grew lots and lots of plants
learned to make soap
spent over 36 total hours making ravioli
cooked and consumed over 15 seasonal gourds
spent a lot of time evangelizing about compost
learned how to raise adult chickens
took a class on beekeeping
dropped my phone in the toilet
learned how to milk a goat
ate a gallon of pickles
got only 1 haircut
learned to sail
spent my Fridays working on wooden boats
became addicted to the Dog Whisperer
had my life changed by Beatles Rockband
missed New York
walked in a rain forest
moved for the 18th time in 12 years
washed my clothes only in homemade detergent
joined a food co-op
rode my motorcycle in the rain (a lot)
built things

FALSE

had regrets

Thanks for being in my life. I hope 2011 is magical.

Page 1

2009-12-31T23:59:00.001-05:00

You’re name is Becca Shim (version 2.1). It is the year 2109. You are gathered around the NeoHeat 5000® with your humanoid grandchildren registering satisfaction on your emoti-meter. A series of blips and beeps communicates to your alloy-offspring that you are preparing to download archived data to their mainframes.

With programmed reluctance, your meta-descendents assume kneeling status and prepare to receive your personal history, data they consider obsolete. While your ancient hardware is incompatible with many of the newer technologies, you are still able to process and make use of some of the more universal applications. Fortunately for you, after growing weary of your constant file-sharing, your A.I.-spawn upgraded your system with Adobe PastDoctor which allows you to re-configure archived historical data to give it greater utility and make it more interesting.

You open the application and pull up the year 2009. Realizing that your story will need some PastDoctor-ing along the way, you begin download:

Kids, the year 2009 was a year of re-invention. It started off:

a) pretty much like any other year. (page 2)

b) with a career change. (page 6)

c) with a change in perspective. (page 8)

Page 11

2009-12-31T18:32:00.007-05:00

You know, kids. There is something about being home for the holidays.

The lights, the decorations--they draw you back from wherever you've been and bring you right back to where you should be.

Go to page 12

Page 12

2009-12-31T18:32:00.006-05:00

And that, kids, was my 2009.

As you prepare to close PastDoctor and boot up PreApocalypticFeasting Pro (version 3), the grandkids have already moved on to accessing their holiday presents and are installing the 2110 version of MS Celebration (home version) in preparation for the coming new year. You think back to simpler times when the holidays were warmed by the glow of the fire and loved ones near and far. You smile as you recall memories from the past century and the sweet reality of 2009 un-doctored.

I can't wait to tell them about 2010. What a year!

You think it to yourself as you roll over to join the rest of the family in syncing up to the big clock in Times Square.

Page 7

2009-12-31T18:31:00.021-05:00

Before force-field confinement bands, criminals were sent to prisons. My first few months in the slammer, I was assigned to cut potatoes in the mess hall. However, the guards realized too late that I was not to be trusted with pointy objects.

After that, they just good, old-fashioned locked me up. If they were trying to reform me, even that wasn't too effective because I ran into some kindred spirits.

One of the biggest problems with prisons in 2009 was that when you locked up criminals with other criminals, it turned into a criminal university of sorts. Always an over-achiever, I set out to graduate with honors. I learned some sweet moves.

It got so bad, they had to keep switching cells on me.

Still, no matter what new kind of cage they put me in, they soon learned that you can't contain the human spirit behind iron bars. That, and I was in for a minor offense and was paroled in no time.

With the new-found freedom, I decided to:

a) get out of town (page 9)

b) get together with some former cell mates and make a show (page 2)

c) give up the life of crime and head home (page 11)

Page 6

2009-12-31T18:31:00.020-05:00

In the year 2009 people still worked for a living. It wasn't all done by robots. There were lots of things you could do to contribute to society. I had tried serving food before, but the tips were bad and the customers were sometimes unreal.

I'd also tried making it big in the entertainment industry.

But that just led to me associating with questionable people who were sure to get me in trouble.

Even street performing could lead me down a bad path. Besides, there was never much future in monkey-grinding.

I decided to go more traditional. I could clean houses. I like clean things. I own a moo moo. The math seemed perfect.

That is until I found out all too late that even cleaning ladies can meet up with some unsavory characters with a dirty past.

From there, there's only one place to go.

(Go to page 7)

Page 8

2009-12-31T18:31:00.019-05:00

Back before automatic situational analysis (or analyziz or whatever you kids are calling it these days) was hard-wired in with the cutting of the umbilical wire, we had to use our old thinkers to figure out the important things in life. We called this reflection or meditation or any number of things. Point was, that's what we had to do to assess our situation and act. Back in 2009, it was a time of reflection. I had been growing increasingly uneasy with life in New York. Surely, it is one of most terrific places, but it was becoming a place I didn't see myself in the long run.

I wanted less of this:

and more of this:

I wanted open fields.

Not crowded streets.

I wanted to be this person:

Not the lounging tourist in Times Square (where, yes, they did have lounge chairs at the time).

Also, not that it's bad to that person, I just didn't wanted to get too sucked into New York (and admittedly, that's not what New Yorkers do). Either way, I wanted to build these:

Not spend the rest of my fleeting youth running around and rocking out (although I never did really give that up).

There was a whole fine world out there and I wanted something different.

I realized that I would either have to:

a) change things up with a drastic career change (page 6)

b) change things up with a drastic location change (page 9)

Page 9

2009-12-31T18:31:00.016-05:00

I packed up my belongings and moved into a new apartment in Seattle, WA. It was a far cry my New York apartment, but what it lacked in mice and loud neighbors, it made up for in privacy, security and a washer/dryer. We needed those back in 2009 when we wore clothes. I took advantage of the abundant thrift stores and the lessened chances of bed bugs in my new locale and got some great used furniture. After some paint, sewing and deep cleaning, I was completely and inexpensively outfitted.

Now all I needed was a massive food storage.

Check.

Still there was something missing. I decided that the missing element was:

a) that I just needed more projects to practice on. (page 10)

b) the pitter patter of little feet. (page 2)

c) Western flair. (page 5)

Page 10

2009-12-31T18:31:00.013-05:00

Kids, in the early 2000s, downloading knowledge directly into your brains was something reserved for Keanu Reeves movies. It wasn't real yet. Most of us hard-working, non-"The One"-types had to get information the primitive way: by reading "For Idiots" books or looking it up on the internet. I decided to market my newly-developed skills with a series of "How-To" videos filmed in my living room. Trying to keep up with the green movement, I reasoned that kitschy recycling projects might be my niche.

Unfortunately, outside of ancient tribes known as hippies and hipsters (neither of whom typically had much money), there wasn't much of a market...yet. So I decided to:

a) take to the road and try to peddle my product there. (page 3)

b) try my hand at something more marketable. (page 6)

c) just keep it all to myself and focus on home. (page 11)

Page 5

2009-12-31T18:30:00.018-05:00

I've never been much of a fan of country music, but at the time, I thought that the only way to fit in "out west" was to get my cowgirl on. I didn't really know what that meant as my experience with all things cowgirl came from themed parks and television.

I decided I needed a better sample so I went to a county fair in Idaho where they love cow-people. I observed the natives in their natural habitat.

I knew those would be some big boots to fill.

So I decided to get hands-on to really experience life in the west.

It turned out that I was all hat and no cattle. Also, I didn't even have the hat. So really I was no hat and no cattle. I sometimes even got mixed up when we were talking about cattle. This was long before computerized visual-recognition software was installed at age 3. Back then we had to do it all ourselves and sometimes we were wrong.

I thought I might be better suited to just give up the cowgirl and just be a cat lady.

It wasn't until later that I realized that Seattle was a whole different kind of west and I didn't need to be anything different.

It turned out that the realization came:

a) too late, as I was later arrested for trespassing on protected bison grazing land. (page 7)

b) just in time to get me off the ranch and back at my apartment. (page 11)

Page 4

2009-12-31T18:30:00.007-05:00

I had the world at my fingertips. For at least the 10th time in my life, I realized that I could do anything I wanted to do. I could join a band.

I could be a champion fighter.

I could join the major league.

I could build boats (yeah right).

I could even be president.

Well, technically I couldn't be president. I wasn't old enough yet and, really, I didn't have the experience, the desire, the strong party affiliation or anything else that gets anyone elected (including the anatomical hardware).

So while I'd always been taught to go for the gold. I figured I could settle for:

a) silver: trying something with a little less prestige. (page 10)

b) bronze: trying something a little closer to home. (page 9)

c) honorable mention: trying something practical that needs to get done. (page 6)

Page 3

2009-12-31T18:30:00.006-05:00

After all was said and done it was time to pack up the van and it the road (the system of concrete surfaces we used to operate our vehicles on before humanoid flight and teleportation became standard).

It was also a place of adventure.

But it wasn't just about being on the road, it was about being on the move. You could do that by boat on the water...

...by skis on the snow...

And when you felt like it, you could swim...

...or bike...

...or run (or at least think about it and then decide not to while everyone else did because that's where the vomiting and bad knees will kill you).

But as great as it is being on the move, sometimes it's time to:

a) just head home. (page 11)

b) stop running and start doing (page 4)

c) take some time to reflect on why you're moving to begin with. (page 8)

Page 2

2009-12-31T18:29:00.002-05:00

I didn't want to stray too far from my roots so I got the kids together and tried to put together an all-toddler swinging circus reality show.

While I thought it was just the cat's meow, the pilot didn't test well and I was forced to give up the dream. It clearly wasn't what I was expecting, but there were still other things to try.

I decided to:

a) exploit my budding craft skills. (page 10)

b) pursue more lofty goals. (page 4)

c) hit the road in search of the next big thing. (page 3)

Page 1

2008-12-31T17:00:00.006-05:00

Your name is Becca Shim. After an action-packed 2007, you decide that 2008 is going to be the year that everything happens. With help from friends, you fill up your chalkboard wall with an endless list of resolutions that are going to facilitate the happening of said everything.
In order to keep the blood pumping, you need to find a steady source of inspiration to keep you moving through the year. Unsure of where to find that kind of inspiration, you do some reflecting.
You decide to:
a) spend time with family (go to page 2)
b) tap into your inner artist (go to page 4)
c) flee the city to “find yourself”—again (go to page 11)

Page 15

2008-12-31T10:36:00.009-05:00

What seemed like a good idea to begin with proved not so keen in the end. The meager accommodations and general homesickness sealed the decision to head back to the familiarity of Home Sweet Harlem.Go to page 16.

Page 16

2008-12-31T10:36:00.008-05:00

At the end of the year, you sigh thinking about all of the resolutions that you didn’t keep. However, you feel comfort in the fact that experiences, lessons learned and people you’ve connected with all along will provide you with a wealth of inspiration to keep things interesting for years to come (as well as made you a better person). Keeping that in mind is something you resolve to do for 2009 (along with getting your holiday greetings out sooner before the ball drops).

Enjoy 2009.
The end.

Page 14

2008-12-31T10:35:00.021-05:00

You assume the identity of an administrative assistant during the "hard-drinking, chain-smoking, cut-throat advertising world of Madison Avenue during the 1960s."However several inconsistencies in dress, mannerisms and ethnicity blow your cover and you decide to:
a) run for your life (go to page 10)
b) run to the wilderness (go to page 7)
c) avoid the scandal and join a special-interest club (go to page 3)

Page 13

2008-12-31T10:35:00.020-05:00

You head back to your Harlem digs cozy with the normal NYC variety of vermin and maintenance issues.
You swat at flies, but feel pretty content to be within the walls that had the honor of temporarily housing THE Aaron Brown before his departure to bring delicious baked goods to the Muslim world. You decide that life probably couldn't get much better.

Go to page 16.

Page 12

2008-12-31T10:35:00.019-05:00

Swimming, biking and running, you decide, are the purist forms of movement. You dedicate much of the year training in these disciplines (or least scheduling the training into your calendar and then sleeping in instead).After a triathlon tri-state tour, you decide:
a) to pack up your wet suit and try out your swimming chops in a different locale (go to page 5)
b) to take training to a whole new level and join the military (go to page 6)
c) that your running game needs some help (go to page 10)

Page 11

2008-12-31T10:35:00.018-05:00

By bike, Zipcar and train, you travel to the Adirondacks, Lake Placid, Montreal and all over Long Island.While life is simpler, this transient life isn't exactly what you had in mind. You:
a) miss the stability of the daily grind (go to page 15)
b) look for something different, hitch hike with some vagrants and decide to break into the hair metal scene (go to page 8)
c) look for other methods of mobility (go to page 12)

Page 10

2008-12-31T10:35:00.017-05:00

Running has been neither your strong suit nor your favorite thing for a long time. So in order to keep motivated, you register for various races throughout the year. After getting passed by a woman on crutches during the last race, you decide that you're sick of running and it's maybe time to retire your speed laces.

Go to page 16

Page 9

2008-12-31T10:35:00.016-05:00

You show up at the steps of the world famous Moscow Circus and do a little song and dance number that killed the crowds at your 1st grade talent show. The Russians aren't too impressed and graciously urge you to seek employment as a performer elsewhere. Seeing the disappointment in your face and slightly more sympathetic when you say that your dance was inspired by Baryshnikov, the ringmaster offers you an entry-level position on the elephant cage maintenance crew.

You decide:
a) that you've had worse jobs and tell him you'll take it (go to page 15)
b) that you've had better jobs and tell him that maybe your touring days are over (go to page 16)

Page 8

2008-12-31T10:35:00.014-05:00

By sheer divine providence, you are invited to join The Metallectuals on backup vocals. The all-girl trio smashes the charts with monster-ballad ferocity. However, after a few months of successful touring, Jen "Brass" Nuckols, decides to check out the grunge scene in Seattle. Following long-overdue trends, you explain the split to your fans by saying that you enacted a strict "manes not mullets" rule that Nuckols was clearly violating. Shortly after the break, you take on a new band member, Axl Rosetta Stone, to widen your audience and fill the spot.Things get controversial when band leader, Firehouse Rose, gets upstaged by Stone. The constant tension eventually attracts considerable media attention and eventually The Metallectuals split for good citing artistic differences.

Now unemployed, but not ready to give up life on stage, you decide to:
a) go solo (go to page 4)
b) join the circus (go to page 9)
**disclaimer: The Metallectuals are an actual real band who are actually BIG fans of mullets

Page 4

2008-12-31T10:34:00.022-05:00

Looking to reinvent your image, you check out a few options. You start out doing some bit parts off-Broadway. Your most popular role is in a coming-of-age tale of a ripening papaya overshadowed by the success of her hot dog counterpart. While the production created a modest cult-following, it wasn't as widely received by the mainstream theatergoers. After attending a life-changing Bon Jovi concert (thanks, Stevie), you decide to take your solo career in a new direction.Mid-80s punk rock ala Jem and the Halograms seems to suit you well until toy giant, Matel, threatens to sue you over copyright infringement. Seems they didn't appreciate you slaughtering "Who Is He Kissing?" in front of a live audience.

In order to lay low while the franchise heals, you decide to:
a) enlist in the military (go to page 6)
b) go undercover (go to page 14)
c) live off the grid (go to page 7)

Page 7

2008-12-31T10:34:00.020-05:00

You prepare for the lifestyle change by learning more about permaculture. This translates into ramping up your food storage, learning about sustainable building like cob and even scheduling activities using your "Grain of the Month" calendar.
Still working on reconciling city life and sustainable life, you decide that you're going to need more time and education before making the big switch and:
a) resolve to be happy with your Harlem apartment for now (go to page 13)
b) try to make up for it by sampling life off the NYC grid (go to page 11)

Page 6

2008-12-31T10:34:00.018-05:00

When you realize how much actual work is involved in training with the military, you decide to form your own army. Not wanting to lead your troops into battle for an unworthy cause, you quote Mike D and inspire them to fight for the right to party.Rallying in the cold, the troops huddle together for warmth and for the love of the dance.

After a chilling and humbling evening you decide:
a) you need to spend less time in combat (go to page 9)
b) you are now ready to join the actual army to fight for real (go to page 15)

Page 5

2008-12-31T10:34:00.016-05:00

You end up in Panama where you don your neglected snorkel gear and explore islands in the Caribbean. Things are going well until you are kidnapped by mermen.

After pleading for your life, they offer you a chance to leave. You decide:
a) living in an underwater tropical paradise isn't so bad after all and start working on your breast stroke (go to page 15)
b) you've had enough with the seashell chaffing and look to associate with more like-minded people (go to page 8)

Page 3

2008-12-31T10:33:00.010-05:00

A quick search for local motorcycle gangs, brings up a New York Times article that quickly makes you reconsider your affiliations.

Rather than take your chances with the law, you decide to go a little lower octane and join a road bike gang instead.

This ends up being much more your speed. You cruise with fellow gang members all over New York.
You have so much fun riding the streets surrounding New York City, that you decide to expand your adventures. You:
a) add swimming and running to the list of activities (go to page 12)
b) head north to explore upstate (go to page 11)

Page 2

2008-12-31T10:33:00.008-05:00

You take a couple trips home to Ohio, out west to Utah and even down south to Florida to visit with family, eat dad’s home cookin’ and feed your obsession with your nephews. It gets even better with the arrival of a niece, but you quickly realize that you’re going to need to keep your game up if you’re going to remain the favorite aunt.
Knowing that everyone loves the cool aunt, you decide to:
a) join a band (go to page 8)
b) join a motorcycle gang (go to page 3)
c) spin the globe, point your finger at it and go wherever it stops (go to page 5)

Page 1

2007-12-25T04:20:00.000-05:00

Your name is Becca Shim. After a small-scale campaign to acquire the mailing addresses of friends and family far and wide, you run out of time to send individualized holiday greetings to everyone on your mailing list. You feel really badly about this, having given everyone the false impression that they would be receiving a good, old-fashioned piece of mail with semi-entertaining anecdotes. To make up for this obvious deficiency, you acquire a time machine through unknown means to try to buy yourself some more time to write Christmas cards. However, something goes miserably awry and you end up back at the beginning of 2007 (that's the thing with time machines). You now have the entire year to make up for lost time, but every decision you make could potentially alter history and thus change the contents of the Christmas newsletter.

Wanting to start out the year right, you decide to flux capacitate yourself into the past and:

a) spend lots of time visiting your awesome nephews and talking about them nonstop (go to page 2).
b) have some fun and plan some parties (go to page 3).

Page 2

2007-12-25T04:16:00.000-05:00

You visit your nephews in January and then again in April and then in July and November and December. You even drag your friends along in September to visit them. Oh yeah, mom and dad were there too. Between the visits and the incessant stories, the people around you start to get a little concerned that you’re taking your aunt role a little too far. They suggest you seek professional help.

You decide to:

a) take them up on the suggestion and see a mental health professional (go to page 13).
b) pack your bags and flee the country (go to page 5).

Page 3

2007-12-25T04:10:00.000-05:00

Still basking in the glow of last year’s Cinco de Mayo and Halloween parties, you decide to take it easy and celebrate a little lower octane.

You host a party in February for Chinese New Year. Then in July, you host a party to celebrate the opening of the Transformer movie (also known as July 4^th or “Independence Day”).

Fireworks and food all around. While it was a good time, there is still something missing. To fill the unknown void, you decide to:

a) find another area of focus (go to page 7).
b) head south of the border (go to page 5).

Page 4

2007-12-25T03:59:00.001-05:00

You somehow wind up on a southern plantation that is so real, it’s almost fake.
Being in the middle of the war, things are a little chaotic. So before the time portal can close, you jump back through to present day (go to page 16).

Page 5

2007-12-25T03:54:00.000-05:00

You start out your trip with a stop in sunny Mexico. You ride scooters without incident, snorkel and enjoy life on the beach. You enjoy it so much, in fact, that you decide to revisit the whole beach thing a few months later. You spend a few weeks in Costa Rica, Nicaragua and Panama where you learn to surf, practice your Spanish and play an interesting game of lost and found. You lose lots of cash, your passport, ipod, phone, camera and Spiderman lip balm to a thief. You find lots of mosquito-bite scars and a mild case of easily-treatable parasites. You also find how hard it is to get anything done at the US Embassy abroad when they are constantly kicking you out.

Needing to detox from the adventure, you decide to:

a) step back and involve yourself in something external (go to page 7).
b) start completely over from scratch (go to page 14).

Page 6

2007-12-25T03:40:00.000-05:00

You find yourself in the middle of an Old English village where kings feast,

noblemen and women dance,

and the karaoke is HOT!

You then realize that there has been a terrible malfunction with the time machine and it has not actually transported you back in time, but just north to Friar Tuck’s Resort in Catskill, NY.

A little disappointed, but appeased by the pheasant and distracted by the snow tubing and marquee pranks, you:

a) crank the dial again and hope for the best (go to page 4).
b) decide that things are probably better in the present day and in the present location (go to page 16).

Page 7

2007-12-25T03:30:00.000-05:00

In order to refocus yourself, you decide to join the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training program. You start training for a triathlon and encourage people to join in the fight to cure blood cancers.

To invite people to become involved in saving lives, you:

a) direct them to your personal Team In Training fundraising website where they can make secure donations online (go to page 8).
b) give them instructions for mailing in donations (go to page 9).
c) decide to hawk goods on the subway trains (go to page 12).

Page 8

2007-12-25T03:23:00.000-05:00

You tell people that they can learn all about what you are trying to do and make a 100% tax-deductible charitable donation securely online by simply clicking here:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/bshim

They can also read more about The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by clicking here:

http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls

All of this good will, starts to make you feel particularly hopeful for the future so you decide to:

a) go back and change the past (go to page 6).
b) go on a motorcycle ride (go to page 10).

Page 9

2007-12-25T02:29:00.000-05:00

You tell people that they can read all about the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s mission here:

http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls

Then all they have to do to contribute is to click on and print off the form below and mail it according to the instructions.

The idea of connecting people with opportunities for good, makes you a little giddy so you decide it would be cool to go back further into time and recruit some more folks. You crank the time machine dial, hope for no whammies and:

a) wait for 2 seconds and press the GO button (go to page 11).
b) wait for 10 seconds and press the GO button (go to page 6).
c) peek and press GO right as the dial spins past 1861 because you have always been a fan of secession (go to page 4).

Page 10

2007-12-25T02:22:00.000-05:00

Always being an advocate of the use of data and proven statistics, you decide to prove an oft-repeated statistic correct. Since most automobile accidents take place within close proximity to your house, you wait until you are 1.5 miles away from home before getting your tire stuck in a pothole and crashing your bike into a parked car.

A couple grand and a healing scar later, you:

a) hop back in the time machine to try to undo the harm (go to page 11).
b) chalk it up to a life experience and try to reconcile things with the cops (go to page 15).

Page 11

2007-12-25T02:11:00.000-05:00

You are whisked back to a time (a “Time After Time”) when Cyndi sang of girls and their collective and simplistic desire to just have fun. Getting caught up in the moment, you do just that.

Taffeta and spandex spin right ‘round, baby, right ‘round.

You get distracted by the beat of the rhythm of the night.

“Now I’ve had the time of my life!” you say to yourself. Then all of a sudden you get a shot through the heart and you’re to blame. Remembering that the whole point of the time machine was to buy Christmas card-writing time, you bid Max Headrom farewell and skip ahead to present day (go to page 16).

Page 12

2007-12-25T02:07:00.000-05:00

You come up with a script that goes something like this:

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Pardon the interruption. I’m here selling candy for $1--not for no basketball team, not for no school trip, but to raise money to cure blood cancers and to keep me out of trouble. Unfortunately all I have right now is Snickers and Peanut M&Ms. Would anyone like to help fight the #1 disease killer of children?

For some reason, it doesn’t go over as well as you’d like. You get kicked off of the subway and have to find another means of travel. You decide:

a) to ride your motorcycle (go to page 10).
b) to say, “Heck no! I won’t go!” and hold your ground on the A train (go to page 15).

Page 13

2007-12-25T02:00:00.000-05:00

At your first session, your doctor asks you to tell him what the problem is. You launch into a detailed account of the recent lives of your nephews including the words that come out of their mouths, the food that goes into their mouths and the resulting by-product that...doesn’t come out of their mouths.

Agreeing that you have a problem and trying to avoid a second session where you have promised to bring a slideshow, you are discharged and prescribed some time away to process. You decide to:

a) go for a long bike ride (go to page 10).
b) go for a long trip (go to page 5).

Page 14

2007-12-25T01:41:00.000-05:00

Upon returning home from Costa Rica baring the battle scars of living la Vida Pura, you set out to redirect yet again.

Within four weeks of returning to New York, you have celebrated your favorite holiday fittingly, found a job that you like, moved away from the apartment with the insane landlord, bought the paint for your new bedroom walls, taken care of outstanding parking tickets and, oh yes, visited the nephews.

Take a deep breath and go to page 16.

Page 15

2007-12-25T01:33:00.000-05:00

After checking your record and finding it to be relatively clean, minus the 12 parking tickets you’ve received in the past year (3 in one night), the authorities decide that you are harmless and drop all charges. Although, you are still responsible for paying the parking tickets, you take a deep breath and decide that now is a good time to wind down (go to page 16).

Page 16

2007-12-25T01:11:00.000-05:00

Sitting back and reflecting on the past year, you take in all of the things that have happened to you and all of the things that you’ve chosen. You realize that all of these things have changed you in some way that time travel, forward or backward, won’t alter. While there have definitely been bumps and malfunctions along the way, you realize that there have always been wonderful people and providential happenings that have pulled you back to present day. Resolving to be ever grateful and aware of amazing people and opportunities, you look forward to the coming new year and hope that family, friends and colleagues everywhere are doing the same.

Also, you’re hoping that they forgive you for substituting an interactive blog for a Christmas card.

(this is you groveling)